Waltzing Through Woods

I've been waltzing around in such a fog as of late. I feel like my words are even a bit lackluster. I've lost a great deal of weight, but I'm torn between feeling proud of myself and uncertain. My mind is starting disassociate, which hasn't happened to me since last January. I'm not sure whether it's in part due to Manic Depression, since it's cyclic. If so, then I'll fade into a psychotic depression. I can only describe my last episode as 'weird,' because I stayed in my bedroom the last time that it happened, fearing that a man (any man) might break into my home to hurt me.  I kept a bottle of Febreeze by my bed, under the idea that I could protect myself by spraying him in the eyes.

This went on for a week, after several weeks of feeling like I was walking around in a fog, watching the world through an isolated globe of my own. It spun without me, as I stayed quiet in my alternate reality. The ceilings danced. People spoke to me from someplace far away (real people... Not imagined ones. They all sounded muffled, as if my ears couldn't quite grasp their words). Everything was so strange to me.

I'm not sure where the transition was, or even how I could have slipped into a peculiar week of paranoia after living in a dream. I'm growing so tired from Bipolar Disorder. My boyfriend (soon to be discarded, sadly) keeps talking about it; trying to gain my respect for having such knowledge on the issue, which he doesn't. Maybe this is a good time for me to disconnect from the world for a bit. I won't hear his caustic words anymore, nor from anyone else.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Points: 31