Turning from the Chasm

I've been very distracted with repossessing control as of late, so I find myself on this endless pursuit of ways to vanquish my binging. I'm no stranger to my dominion. I'm very good at losing weight, but it's been so difficult for me to do so with any level of consistency over the past four months.

I think that negativity has a large roll in my mistakes, if not to blame completely... so I'm going to keep nurturing my structure with positivity. I'll fill these pages with creative lists and encouragement for myself. I want this to be uplifting, as well as honest. I won't lie when I trip on the cracks in the road, but I'm not going to complain about them until I expect (and allow) myself to fall into a gaping chasm. No one can 'snap out' of melancholy, nor can one avoid being shadowed by a mood entirely... but I think that we can all nourish our self-esteem over time.

Keeping all of the above in mind, I'm going to compose a more goal-oriented post either tomorrow or this evening. I took some 'before' pictures for my weight loss earlier (despite the process being daunting), and it really inspired me. My weight looks astonishingly average from the pictures, so I feel like it will be easier for me to drop the seventeen pounds than I'd originally thought. It's harder for me to conceptualize weight loss when I think that I look freakishly obese.

 Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95
Height: 5'4"