Critter Counting

 ...made me smile.
I was never afraid of closet-monsters when I was a child, but I was very apprehensive about the shenanigans that happened underneath the bed. Perhaps the calories were just storing themselves there lazily like laggards, and I had only their immobility to fear.

I made a pact with myself to talk less about food around people, but I'm not very good at doing so. I've seen so many documentaries on diets and eating disorders that my head is a bubbling encyclopedia, anticipating to be swung open. I wish that I had a friend who's as obsessed with food and dieting as I am. I remember having a very overweight 'diet buddy' years back, but there wasn't much banter to be had between her binge eating disorder and my anorexia (my thought process at the time being Just don't eat... simple solution). I kept my apprehensions to myself.

I'm going to focus on keeping my calories below 250 tomorrow, because I don't know how else to pull myself out of this caustic trap of binging. Ever since 'treat day (lovely day),' I've felt like a mountain lion hunting for its prey... diving into the woods and the sky, just to tear callously into its flesh. I'm seething with lust and rapture.

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95
Height: 5'4"