The Bear

I broke my liquid fast yesterday before consciously picking it back up at ten (it's been thirteen hours now). The time frame feels so surreal, because I slept off and on for the entire day. I had taken a Seroquel in the afternoon to ease my insomnia-addled mind, and it put me out completely. I only remember a few events, which I will list in chronological order (let it be known that Seroquel gives one the munchies, probably akin to marijuana):

1. I fall asleep for several hours
2. I hear a musical knock on the door, and question whether or not it's real... before opening it and receiving a pair of boots (a belated Christmas present) from my mom.
3. I go back to sleep
4. I receive a phone call from my 'boyfriend (whatever he is).' He's unhappy that I don't sound excited to hear from him.
5. I put a potato in the microwave
6. I fall asleep for several hours
7. I wake up and reheat the potato
8. ***big blur***
9. I wake up at ten in the morning. My food is logged, my painting has some new additions (more leaves have been added to the trees), and I have to be at work in three hours. This was such a lovely day off. I can't wait to do it next weekend. 

Fast: 11/72

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Points:  VII

The Solution is Potatoes

Insomnia

 (again)

When I restrict, my insomnia becomes unbearably exaggerated. I've been curious as to why such a state could result from eating too little, so that I can treat it more directly. From what I've read, the physical problem (this apart from depression and anxiety, which should be treated by a specialist of sorts) is relatively straightforward:

Electrolyte Disturbance.

"An electrolyte disorder is an imbalance of certain ionized salts (i.e., bicarbonate, calcium, chloride, magnesium, phosphate, potassium, and sodium) in the blood [Helpline]" This is why magnesium supplements are often used as sleep aides.

This concept makes perfect sense to me, from recent personal experience. I've noticed that I sleep quite soundly after I've eaten a baked potato with salt (which is my usual dinner). I had one last night before bed, and then slept for eight hours. It was a lovely reprieve, compared to the earlier night's restless plague of insomnia (two hours of rest).

The solution is potatoes, everyone (or Gatorade, or bananas, or salted veggies)!

A Lovely Baked Potato

Calories: 161 (medium potato)

Ingredients: One potato; one canister of zero-calorie non-stick butter spray; salt; and pepper.

 Instruction:

1. Nuke the potato in the microwave for fifteen minutes (more or less, depending on microwave settings)
2. Open the potato and spray it generously with non-stick butter spray
3. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste  

An update on the Points Game: Thus far, I have two points. I'm a little unclear as to whether or not I really earned them. Someone brought two tins of cookies into the break room to share at work, and they were all being eaten around me whilst I was on my 'fifteen.' I really wanted to earn some points, but no one so much as mentioned them to me. I even asked "Ooh! Are those cookies," but I only received a Yes, in response... confirming that they were, in fact, cookies.

Peculiarly enough, the Points Game is rather ineffective if no one offers you any food.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"
Points: II

Fasting Friday

I've been eating a healthy amount of food lately, and it's making me feel very uncomfortable... to the extent that I feel a bit hypocritical for it, since my eating disorder plays a paramount role in my identity. Even the connotation of the word 'healthy' is sinister to me. It's not a good word.

All seriousness aside, I think that I'm going to combat this healthy rut with a game (I'm fond of games). I'm going to see how long I can manage without eating solid food. I won't set a goal for myself, because I only intend to have fun with my crafted, foodless experiment.

On another note, I've been working on a 'Don't Binge' page (yes, one of those) for a few days now. I want to make it lengthy enough to have some longevity (so that one can view it once or twice), and concise enough to be effective. I'll make a note of it when it's finally up and running.

Until then, my sleeping pills are making me feel all warm and fuzzy, so I'm off to bed (this was quite the thrilling blog entry). Rest well, everyone. Our goals are never quite as far as they seem.

 

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95
Height: 5'4"