A Bit About High Fructose Corn Syrup

I've heard so many warnings about 'High Fructose Corn Syrup,' but I'd neglected to learn anything about it beyond knowing that it's something that one should take arms against, and avoid it as one does the plague. In a nutshell, this is why:

High Fructose Corn Syrup

(Fructose comes from fruit, but syrup comes from corn [corn sap...?].)

 The Facts:

• Obesity is a common repercussion of the consumption of high fructose corn syrup:

 "[There was] a study conducted by Princeton University, [which] found that rats that were fed HFCS gained fat 300% more quickly than those fed an equal (or slightly larger) dose of fruit-derived sugar (So sayeth this website)."

• High fructose corn syrup is similar to sugar, but it's processed within the liver; kidneys; and galbladder, which makes it quite the fiend against one's liver. Many strong prescription drugs are processed in the same manner, so this is a very bad thing (especially if you're on as many psych. medication as I am)
• It's caloric, like sugar, and it carries the same health risks (diabetes, metabolic syndrome, etc.)
•  There lies a connection between HFC and pancreatic cancer. In all honesty, a lot of man-made sweeteners have the capacity to cause either cancer or tumors: Sugar Substitutes 

After reading what I have, I don't think that HFC is really that much worse than sugar. It's a chemist's concoction, and it has its own unique drawbacks... but sugar has its own brand of horrors as well. It's really just a matter of 'picking your poison.'

If calories aren't one's primary concern (hah...), it's suggested that raw honey is a decent replacement for high fructose corn syrup, although I'm more fond of sorbitol, which has the potential to cause "severe weight loss (see my Sugar Substitutes link for details on the matter)." The body does get accustomed to sorbitol, however, so it's best to take in smaller doses rather than taking it excessively under the false impression that more of it begets weight loss. 

 

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Points: XXI

Unrelated to sugar and such: I've fallen into a bought of mania, and it's been dreadful this time around. I've been nervously sucking down cigarettes (a habit that I tossed away two years ago), and I've had to take an obscene amount of my anti-anxiety medication- and sleeping pills, and alcohol- just to fall asleep. I wake up fuzzy and peaceful for about an hour, and am then shot with brilliant alalertness which lingers and wakes me until I swallow my medications all over again. I am on antipsychotics. I'm on a good mood stabilizer. And yet there's no rest. There's no solace. There's just a seething madness that floods my reason and my ability to function as a normal human being should... I'm weary of leaving my home for anything but cigarettes, because it's all so overwhelming to me. I'm Icarus, but I don't want to fly anymore. I know that my wings will melt. I know what lies ahead. I know that only depression will follow the storm, and that it will linger as it always does.

I'm sorry for the melodrama. On a remotely positive note, mania has deflated my appetite trtremendously, which has allowed me to break free from the miserable binging. For that, I'm grateful. For all else, I'm frustrated with myself. I wish that I could be the type of manic who revels in those surges of energy. Alas. I'm climbing cliffs instead of stairs. 

The Bear

I broke my liquid fast yesterday before consciously picking it back up at ten (it's been thirteen hours now). The time frame feels so surreal, because I slept off and on for the entire day. I had taken a Seroquel in the afternoon to ease my insomnia-addled mind, and it put me out completely. I only remember a few events, which I will list in chronological order (let it be known that Seroquel gives one the munchies, probably akin to marijuana):

1. I fall asleep for several hours
2. I hear a musical knock on the door, and question whether or not it's real... before opening it and receiving a pair of boots (a belated Christmas present) from my mom.
3. I go back to sleep
4. I receive a phone call from my 'boyfriend (whatever he is).' He's unhappy that I don't sound excited to hear from him.
5. I put a potato in the microwave
6. I fall asleep for several hours
7. I wake up and reheat the potato
8. ***big blur***
9. I wake up at ten in the morning. My food is logged, my painting has some new additions (more leaves have been added to the trees), and I have to be at work in three hours. This was such a lovely day off. I can't wait to do it next weekend. 

Fast: 11/72

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Points:  VII

Another Lumpin Loner

I wasn't keen on visiting my parents' house to pick up my tax returns (If I prove that I'm exceptionally poor to the Y, they give me a discount), so I didn't get my gym membership today. It overwhelms me to talk to people after work, since my job involves constant communication... so- after my shift is over- I feel compelled to avoid all who expect me to converse for much longer than a few minutes. For fair example: my phone is currently brimming with texts that 'beep,' and I want to throw it against the wall, so forcefully that it breaks through the plaster... and I would throw it at the wall, if I didn't depend on it to allow me to read blogs and count calories. I know that the people who try to reach me only mean well, but I'm so accustomed to being alone that being constantly bothered is just maddeningly grating.

I'm starting a liquid fast when I wake up tomorrow, because I'm round and unhappy. I'm hoping to be asleep before then. Buying clothes today was a bit traumatic.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106 105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Points:  V

Fasting Myths

I couldn't have written any of this better myself, so here's the link:

Top Ten Fasting Myths Debunked

Highlights:

•  Eating small meals frequently will not increase your metabolism, nor will it keep you significantly full. That being said, it's okay to skip a meal.
• Blood sugar levels aren't enormously impacted by eating small meals.
• Fasting for short periods of time (up to sixty hours) does not put one into 'starvation mode.' On the contrary, one's metabolism is increased by 3.6%-10% after 36-48 hours of fasting. 
• Eating protein every 2-3 hours is silly (I'm not going to elaborate, because I doubt that any of us eat every 2-3 hours).
• Fasting does not cause muscle loss. Only prolonged fasting can wrought this sort of chaos.
• Skipping breakfast is perfectly fine. It will not lower your metabolism, nor will eating it give you a substantial metabolic 'boost.'
• Short-term fasting does not effect cortisol levels.
• Eating a large breakfast; a smaller lunch; and then a very small dinner, doesn't effect weight loss nor gain.

Note: My post on starvation mode is accurate. The 'starvation mode' that the above author touches on, is one that is falsely rumored to kick in after a short period of time without food (which is, of course, utter nonsense).

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95
Height: 5'4"

Fast Food for the Anxious

When I depart for a long voyage on the road with my family, I get very nervous about stopping for fast food. It provokes my anxiety for several reasons. If I order a small cup of fruit, I feel transparent, as if my eating disorder brightens and beckons suspicion. If I order a drink, I will be plagued with the prying chorus of "You're not hungry?" ...which drives me a bit insane, since it's a conviluted concept to me. I'd break for a soda, but then I'd have to explain that said soda has 160 calories and is well enough to carry me until my next meal; but that sounds completely neurotic.

To subsidy this chaos, I study menus as soon as the shiny, greasy destination is decided. This, however, takes time, and god forbid I have to say "wait...! I haven't decided." as I scroll frantically through my phone... which runs the risk of taking too much time, so I'm forced to stare at the menu from the window and utter a series of "um..." 's.

To the point, it's much easier if one knows what to order before pulling into the drive-thru. This is a list of the lowest calorie options provided at the more popular takeaway joints (please do not shop at Arby's. Their management is sickly corrupt in America):

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

McDonald's

Breakfast:

Fruit and Maple Oatmeal (290 calories)

Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal (270 calories)

Dinner:

Premium Ceaser Salad with Grilled Chicken (190 calories)

Premium Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken (290 calories)

Premium Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken (230 calories)

------------------------------------------
 

Taco Bell

Dinner:

Fresco Chicken Soft Taco (150 calories)

Fresco Crunchy Taco (140 calories)

Fresco Grilled Steak Soft Taco (150 calories)

Mexican Rice (120 calories)

------------------------------------------
 

Wendy's

Dinner:

Apple Slices (40 calories)*

Garden Side Salad (210 calories)

Caeser Side Salad (250 calories)

Ultimate Chicken Grilled Sandwich without the bun (180 calories)

 

------------------------------------------

Burger King

Breakfast:

Quaker Oatmeal (140calories)

Kids Oatmeal (170 calories [...?])

Dinner:

Apple Slices (25 calories)*

Side Caeser Salad with Dressing (220 calories)

------------------------------------------

 

KFC

Dinner:

Kids Popcorn Chicken (260 calories)

Mashed Potatos without Gravy (90 calories)

3" Corn on the Cob (71 calories)

Sweet Kernal Corn (100 calories)

Macaroni Salad (190 calories)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

*I suggest getting a side of apple slices to fill up on. The more food you have in front of you, the less likely you'll be chastised for only managing a half of it.

 

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95
Height: 5'4"


Sugar Substitutes

I've been curious about artificial sweeteners for a while now (Stevia, especially), and it's taken me quite some time to dig up enough information to sew all of the bits of information together.

First and foremost: All of these artificial sweeteners have drawbacks, but we'd be doing ourselves a disservice if we didn't first look at sugar. Sugar has a direct link to obesity. It hurts one's heart; it causes diabetes by invoking spikes in blood sugar; it increases one's risk of yeast infection (gross); it increases one's risk of depression (probably due to the sporadic changes in blood sugar that it evokes); and it has strong links to the development of cancer, namely breast cancer and pancreatic cancer.

Before I frighten the fruit junkies like myself, I'd like to state that whilst fruit is quite sugary; soda, ketchup, cookies, cakes, and other miscellanea are much worst catalysts. Fruit is packed with natural fibre and vitamins, whereas granulated sugar is not. When one thinks "fat," one does not think "fruit."

Sugar Substitutes

What's out there?

 

Aspartame: Nutrasweet and Equal

 

Acesulfame Potassium: Sunett

 

D-Tagatose: Sugaree (bit of a misnomer, eh?)

 

Neotame: Usually found incognito, since no label for it is legally necessary

 

Sorbitol: Sugar-free Gum

 

Stevia: Truvia

 

Sucralose: Splenda

 



Aspartame

Pros: It has 0 calories.
Cons: It will probably kill you.

Safety Warning: Aspartame contains a substance that can be metabolized into formaldehyde, and is known to cause cancer in animals.
Miscellaneous side effects: Aspartame may trigger, mimic, or cause the following illnesses:

• Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
• Epstein-Barr
• Post-Polio Syndrome
• Lyme Disease
• Grave’s Disease
• Meniere’s Disease
• Alzheimer’s Disease
• ALS
• Epilepsy
• Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
• EMS
• Hypothyroidism
• Mercury sensitivity from Amalgam fillings
• Fibromyalgia
• Lupus
• Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma
• Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

Acesulfame Potassium
Pros: It has 0 calories.
Cons: It causes tumors.

Safety Warning: Acesulfame Potassium has created tumors in the lungs and breasts of rats; and caused chronic respiratory infections.
Miscellaneous side effects:

• Headaches
• Liver complications
• Mental confusion
• Visual impairment
• Renal diseases

Mental confusion...? I sense an after school special.

D-Tagatose
Pros: D-Tagatose naturally occurs in several dairy products, so it's less like a lab concoction.
Cons: It's derived from lactose, so vegans should avoid it.

Safety Warning: Apart from being toxic in very, very large doses (like, your body weight in artificial sweetener, all at once)... it's completely safe.
Miscellaneous side effects: I read through rat studies to find the safety of D-Tagatose. A simple list of side effects really doesn't exist.

Neotame
Pros: It has 0 calories.
Cons: It will most likely kill you in the same fashion as Aspartame will.

Safety Warning: Neotame is Aspartame's chemical cousin, so it poses the same risks as Aspartame does. It's equally poisonous.
Miscellaneous side effects: See 'Aspartame'

Sorbitol
Pros: It's derived from fruit, and it makes gum tasty.
Cons: Although it's low in calories, it is not calorie-free. In higher quantities, it's used as a laxative.

Safety Warning: It's safe!
Miscellaneous side effects: I found this today, and have decided to chew sugar-free gum every day for the rest of my life:

"One patient, a 21-year-old woman, had unexplained [diarrhea] and abdominal pain for eight months. She reported an unintended weight loss of 24 pounds, weighing in at about 90 pounds.

After she was asked about diet, she said she chewed sugar-free gum with sorbitol daily, taking in about 18 to 20 grams a day. One stick typically has 1.25 grams.

Once she eliminated sorbitol from her diet, the gastrointestinal problems stopped and she gained back more than 15 pounds (http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20080110/sweetener-side-effects-case-histories)"

I don't think that this woman pooped her pounds away.

Stevia
Pros: It has 0 calories, and occurs naturally in the Stevia plant.
Cons: It lowers blood sugar, which has is: a.) bad for diabetics, and b.) bad for quelling cravings

Safety Warning:
Miscellaneous side effects:

• Bloating
• Nausea
• Numbness
• Infertility
• Lowers blood pressure*

* Many people on very restrictive diets run into problems with low blood pressure.

Sucralose
Pros: It has 0 calories. The body digests it as 'food,' as opposed to breaking it down in other odd fashions.
Cons: It has a list of strange side effects.

Safety Warning: Sucralose has not been deemed 'unsafe,' but there's still some contreversy.
Miscellaneous side effects:

• Skin Rashes/Flushing
• Panic-like Agitation
• Dizziness and Numbness
• Diarrhea
• Swelling
• Muscle aches
• Headaches
• Intestinal cramping
• Bladder issues
• Stomach pain

From here on out, I am going to incorporate sorbitol in my recipes as a substitute for sugar, instead of stevia. May we have our cake and eat it, too? ...probably not, but low-calorie hot chocolate that begets weight loss sounds amazing. I'll invent some with my next paycheck (and I'll  keep hunting around for that magical weight loss cake recipe).

 

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95
Height: 5'4"

I've begun a trend of writing posts, and then deleting them later on. As with most things, I blame this on my personal case of the crazies. Manic Depression is a highly esteemed scapegoat (how many times have you heard "I think she's bipolar? [many, right?]").

Negative Calorie Foods

Another confusing subject:

The idea behind negative calorie foods, is that one burns more calories digesting the food than the food itself contains. For example, celery and ice water are are commonly listed as 'negative calorie foods.'

This is not the case. The calories that the body burns during digestion are taken into account when the nutritional information is written. That number of calories is determined by how much time a piece of food takes for our bodies to burn food (literally. scientists light food on fire and measure the time that it takes to burn)... so there is no such thing as a negative calorie food.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95
Height: 5'4"

Icarus

I created a new page for this site, so that I could better seperate my personal blog entries from those related to dieting. This is just a brief snippet from the lot (chosen for no particular reason):

 

In a Fog
July 23, 2012
I’ve referred to being ‘in a fog’ many times, but I’m not sure that I’ve ever actually defined what it’s like to be in a fog. As I am currently in a fog, I’m going to make a meager stride to interpret it… which is no simple task, because the fog is rather overwhelming, and I’d just as soon lie on the floor contemplating the ceiling’s looming lack of tiles.
I’ve been sleeping on and off for a while now, in between shamefully large meals. I’m sure that there’s a lot of psychology behind eating the ‘large meals,’ since I’m normally very particular and obsessive about my diet, but it’s a passing phase and I don’t care enough to dissect it.
Because my family is celebrating Mother’s Day tomorrow, I had to leave my house in order to purchase some compensation for my birth (which really ought to have been a sympathy card). I took a bath before leaving, and then stared at my face for a very long time, wondering whether or not it was appropriate enough to carry on outside.

When things feel heavy, I tend to look at the mirror longer than I can make sense of. One of the most prominent aspects of the ‘fog’ is a state of confusion. My reflection confuses me more than anything, since I’m unable to make a tangible connection between myself and it. I just stare at it in disbelief, wondering whether or not I should take it seriously.

Driving in the fog is dangerous. Everything’s on autopilot, and yet I have this overwhelming sense of apathy which is completely irrational. I begin to ponder certain dangers on the road (explosions, crashes, drive-by’s), and conclude that they may as well happen, since I don’t care either way. If a train flew off of its tracks and sailed in my direction, I’d just watch it, and think, 'Oh, well.'The fog leaves no room for adrenaline. There isn’t happiness in the fog, nor is there hope… nor is there a particular hopelessness, because everything is just very, very dull. I’m able to catch some parts of melancholia within such a state, but it is generally a mental prison.
I’m going to end this blog, because I can’t find any more strength to write it. I’d be eating another ginormous meal right now, if I hadn’t already made a ball out of my moderately-cooked brownie mix, and thrown it over the fence, in an attempt to end my bizarre lack of structured eating.

Icarus

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Thanksgiving

When I first began this blog, I composed a short list of tips for eating with one's family. I'm posting a link here to help anyone who's stressed about Thanksgiving:

Table Manners

 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Breathe... and remember that you won't have to deal with it again for another year.

A recipe:

Pumpkin Pie Tartlettes

Calories: 64

(Serves 16)

Sixteen 2 and 1/2-inch foil baking cups, nonstick cooking spray, 9 tsp stevia (18 packets), 1 tbsp cornstarch, 1 tsp ground cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 1/2 tsp salt, 2 large egg whites, 1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin puree, 1 can (12 oz.) evaporated fat-free milk, 1 cup fat-free whipped topping, 12 small gingersnap cookies (broken into 1/4-inch pieces)

1. Preheat oven to 350º F. Place the baking cups on a baking sheet with sides. Spray each cup with cooking spray.
2. Combine sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, ginger and salt in small bowl. Beat the egg whites in a large bowl. Stir in the  pumpkin and sugar (stevia) mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk. Spoon 1/4 to 1/3 cup of mixture into each prepared cup.
3. Bake for 25 to 28 minutes or until done. Cool on baking sheet for 20 minutes. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour. 
4. Decorate each tartlette with whipped topping and gingersnap crumbs, then serve!

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

 

Risperidone

I've never actually experienced this before, because I am so engaged in my decisions at the grocery store, that I wouldn't notice if the man beside me caught fire.

I was taken off of Seroquel and put on Risperidone today, which is probably just as well, considering that I was eating spicy salsa out of the jar with my fork the other night. Although it hasn't caused me to gorge on as much as Seroquel did, I can barely lift my eyelids on Risperidone. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'm able to function well enough to type this... but I wanted to check in and share a few words, despite the apparent lethargy.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

 

Lucidity and Carrot Soup

I've been very self conscious of my writing lately, which is why my entries have been disappearing and then reappearing. It's difficult for me to trust my lucidity whilst taking a new medication... and for good reason, because the ways that it's effecting me are not normal.  It feels like the air around me is thick, and that my mind is struggling to recall what I've done or should be doing. It's a very 'drugged' feeling. The most peculiar side effect, is that everything is beginning to taste like soap. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I'm going to try to keep my writing more concise whilst I'm trying to get used to the medication, so that I won't second-guess everything. I'm also in the process of moving my personal entries into a solitary page as well, so my editing's moving along more slowly than I'd like it to. I'll be posting recipes daily as well, so there will always be something new here.

A recipe:

Carrot Soup

Calories: 38

(Serves ten)

10 full-length carrots, 5 medium stalks of celery, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 medium onion, 8 cups of water

1. Chop all vegetables into small pieces, then boil them in a pot with eight cups of water.
2. Allow to boil until tender.
3. Let cool, then add garlic to the mix. Puree the soup for a heartier texture. For a smoother texter, use a blender.
4. After blending, add garlic, salt, and pepper (to taste).
5. Reheat and eat!

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Tea

A note from the author: Reading back on my "frightening" dream, I've come to the conclusion that it was more humorous to recall than frightening... though in quite the unorthodox manner.

Although it is highly esteemed for the ECGC that it contains, green tea is not the only tea that contributes to weight loss. To break a bit of the monotony (albeit tasty monotony), I've composed a list of other teas that are quite helpful as well. Before this list commences, I would like to note that I'm fond of cats (which has likely made itself apparent by now). They'll be accompanying your tea today.

Oolong Tea

 

Oolong tea boosts the metabolism, along with aiding digestion; strengthening teeth; and complimenting a healthy complexion. It's frequently served at Chinese restaurants, so ordering it with your meal might be a good compliment to strengthening your metabolic rate whilst eating.

Rooibos Tea

Rooibos teas contribute to healthy digestion, as well as providing some comfort to a nagging or sour tummy.

Black Tea

Black teas are handy for a small energy boost, as they contain about 20% of the caffeine present in a cup of coffee. They're also handy for maintaining a healthy circulatory and cardiovascular system.

On a personal note: I had a very unusual eating disordered dream tonight. I have binge dreams on occasion, but this one was much more frightening. I dreamt that I was in a public bathroom, and there were full-length mirrors in every stall. When I noticed the first one, I lifted my shirt as I would normally do to check the shape of my stomach. Of course, it didn't look as I thought that it should, and it threw me into a mad panic. I dashed from stall to stall, examining myself in every mirror. I took balls of toilet paper and tried to wipe my stomach off (I've never done that), but I wasn't able to. I left the restroom eventually, and somehow ended up in an eating disorder clinic which looked like a house. Men greeted me at the door, and assured me that I would be the only person in the clinic. I'd receive all of the help that the staff had to offer, because I'd essentially be in the spotlight. I was terrified, so I broke away from the terror I felt and just... ran. I must have ran far enough to escape the dream, because everything morphed into a new setting with new plots.

I can't properly explain how strange it was to me. It must have been stemmed from the anxiety I've been wrought with whilst miserably sleep-deprived. I need more psych meds.

Weight: 114 113 112 111 110 109 108 107 106105 104 103 102 101 100 99 98 97 96 95

Height: 5'4"

Starvation Mode

I'd like to clarify:

If you don't take in enough calories, your body goes into the state commonly coined 'starvation mode.' In starvation mode, your metabolic rate is lowered by about 10% under its capacity. The idea behind this, is that with a lower metabolic rate, your body can better conserve its energy.

Your body will go into starvation mode if you cut your daily caloric intake to less 50% of what your body requires.

BMR Calculator

In my case, my BMR is 1,326. In order for me to put my body in starvation mode, I would have to eat less than 663 calories.

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95 Height: 5'4

(this picture makes me chuckle, because I once went without dusting my house long enough to see it pour through the windows like this... all the while wondering why I was having severe allergies.)

Photograph

Food to Graze Upon

I'm making note of these for my next trip to the grocery store (such trips are sincerely the highlight of my day).

Fruit and Veg Under 50 Calories

Each count per 100 grams:

• Watercress: 11 calories
• Cucumber (peeled): 12 calories
• Lettuce: 13-16 calories
• Radishes: 14-18 calories
• Tomatoes: 15-20 calories
• Celery: 16 calories
• Chard: 16 calories
• Cabbage: 16-31 calories
• Green peppers: 20 calories
• Lemons (with peel): 20 calories 
• White mushrooms: 22 calories
• Beets: 22 calories
• Alfalfa seeds: 23 calories
• Cilantro: 23 calories
• Spinach: 23 calories
• Cabbage: 24 calories
• Eggplant: 24 calories
• Asparagus: 25 calories
• Cauliflower: 25 calories
• Portabella mushrooms: 26 calories
• Red peppers: 26 calories
• Pumpkin: 26 calories
• Bamboo shoots: 27 calories
• Banana peppers: 27 calories
• Yellow peppers: 27 calories
• Broccoli: 28 calories
• Turnips: 28 calories
• Chives: 30 calories
• Collards: 30 calories
• Pink grapefruit: 30 calories
• Limes: 30 calories
• Watermelon: 30 calories
• Green beans: 31 calories
• Okra: 31 calories
• Serrano peppers: 32 calories
• Strawberries: 32 calories
• Sweet onions: 32 calories
• White grapefruit: 33 calories
• Broccoli: 34 calories
• Cantaloupe: 34 calories
• Green onions: 34 calories
• Baby carrots: 35 calories
• Oyster mushrooms: 35 calories
• Seaweed: 35 calories
• Honeydew melons: 36 calories
• Turnips: 36 calories
• Papayas: 39 calories
• Peaches: 39 calories
• Green chili peppers: 40 calories
• Red chili peppers: 40 calories
• Carrots: 41 calories
• Asian pears: 42 calories
• Podded peas: 42 calories
• Beets: 43 calories
• Blackberries: 43 calories
• Brussels sprouts: 43 calories
• Nectarines: 44 calories
• Pineapple: 45 calories
• Cranberries: 46 calories
• Oranges: 46 calories
• Plums: 46 calories
• Artichokes: 47 calories
• Clementines: 47 calories
• Apples (peeled): 48 calories
• Apricots: 48 calories
• Navel oranges: 49 calories
• Cherries: 50 calories

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95

Height: 5'4"

A Splendid Hot Chocolate

I'm proud of myself for carrying on well over the past two days. Although it doesn't sound like a momentous feat, it's something that I couldn't see for myself during my cycle of binging and being sick. Having a net of 600 instead of my prior 2,000-5,000 calorie frenzies is significant enough to laud (or to apply laud to [applaud...!]). If I can manage to avoid ice cream for a month, I might be able to meat my 95-pound goal by Christmas. I can't envision a better present. If I receive a bit of money to add to my savings toward a keyboard, I'll be ecstatic.

A New Concoction:

Mix: 

• one packet of Diet Swiss Miss hot chocolate (25 calories) 
• one tablespoon of sugar free raspberry jam (10 calories)
• 1/4 cup of nonfat organic milk (22 calories)

Calories in total: 57

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95

 Height: 5'4"

Juxtaposition

I survived yesterday's panic attack to find a very boring message from my perpetrator: a simple "How are you?" Now I feel a bit moronic. I hope that everyone's well (...and not having irrational panic attacks)!  

Honestly, the pretzels seem like a fair trade.

 Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95

 

Height: 5'4"

Food that Promotes Weight Loss

It's taken so much energy for me to stay awake these past few days that my mind has given up on comprehending things. I'm not considerably apathetic nor depressed... just teetering on the edge of dozing off. I don't know how I've been able to socialize functionally at work. I'm going out for a cigarette after posting this, since I see no other option for keeping awake right now (I'm not a frequent smoker [once a month if at all]).

On a less related note: I composed a page called Tips to Trot two nights ago (another lethargic feat), that holds a fairly extensive list of foods that promote dieting; ways to get around binging; and a composition of "don't-s and do-s." Here are some odds and ends from it:

Dairy 

Dairy decreases the body fat stored in your cells by roughly 69%, and also raises your body's core temperature. It has protein as well, which will help you feel full for longer. Just be sure to choose low-fat products, as opposed to cream.

Dairy

Calories: (95 per cup of nonfat milk)
Note from the author: Please purchase organic milk only (these guys are treated pretty badly).

Soup 

Contrary to popular belief, water only stretches the stomach (fills you) for a short period of time. Soup, however, can fill you about an hour longer than solid food can.

Soup

Calories: (varies [usually 160-300 per can, sans cheez-its])

 Spicy Peppers

The capsaicin in peppers decreases appetite and raises body temperature... which increases one's metabolism by 8% for roughly two hours.

Chili Peppers

Calories: (2 per chili pepper)

Black pepper 

Black pepper helps to dissolve fats as well as raising one's body temperature. 

Salt and Pepper

 

Calories: (1 per 1/4 teaspoon)

  Cinnamon  

Cinnamon improves your body's response to insulin, which helps it break down blood sugar.

Cinnamon Spice

 Calories: (6 per teaspoon)

 Disclaimer: I do not recommend eating a cinnamon bun (please knit your cinnamon buns instead).

 Berries 

They're high in fiber, which is very filling. They are also quite low in calories, so you can eat mass quantities of them without damaging your progress.

Black Berries

Calories: (62 per one cup)

 Green tea

It contains antioxidants which help fight infection, and it raises the metabolism. 

  
Japanese Green Tea (that's a ring)

 Calories: (0)

Enjoy!

 Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95
Height: 5'4" 

   <- An emotional illustration (not just a representation of tea consumption)

Winter Groceries

I'm getting my first paycheck in the longest time this Friday, and I've crafted a winter shopping list in its honor. I usually eat very monotonously structured meals, so I'm going to branch out as much as I can.

Atop those ambitions, I will bring things into my house that have never graced my drawers before. I will bring condiments...! This is groundbreaking.

Winter Shopping List

• Diet Swiss Miss hot chocolate (25 calories)
• Smucker's sugar-free raspberry jam (10 calories)
• Orville Redenbacher's 'movie theater' butter popcorn (70 calories)
• 2 'McIntosh' apples (55 calories each)
• 3 Peaches (59 calories each)
• Butter-flavored spray (0 calories)
• Cinnamon (0 calories)
• Garlic powder (0 calories)
• Amy's organic 'pasta and 3-bean' soup (130 calories)
• Del Monte '100% juice' tropical fruit salad  (60 calories)
• ...and a carton of 'Pet' fat-free milk (90 calories)

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95
Height: 5'4" 

 

Table Manners

I'm moving back in with my parents in December, which means that I'll be surrounded by 'binge food.'

My mom has this peculiar habit of buying sweets (cookies, brownie mix, ridiculously fattening ice cream bars, etc.), and then not eating them. I remember going into my parents' house a few months back, due to being possessed by a holy plight to conquer every bit of junk food in the world. When I reached the kitchen, I was both elated and frightened when I found four boxes of brownie mix in the pantry. There were walnut brownies, fudge brownies, peanut butter brownies, dark chocolate brownies--all just lying in wait. I gathered them and dashed home, then exuberantly baked about half of the loot in the oven. The other halves were eaten raw, in-between intervals of ice cream. It was a festival of sorts. Soon, I will be physically amongst all of that junk. I really can't imagine holding onto my sanity.

Along with being amidst of the rubbish in the kitchen, I must partake in a mandatory nightly feeding.
My parents are 'dinner people.' My mom prepares food each night, and everyone sits around the table to enjoy it. Refusing to take part isn't just suspicious- it's selfish. We spend about an hour conversing  and stabbing at my fated foe (...food). Throughout the meal, the time leaves every plate open for  scrutiny. Each leftover is accounted for, despite any lacking motive to do so. It's all seen. For someone with an eating disorder, it is utter hell.

I developed some tips for myself, which I hope will provide some structure and make things a touch less overwhelming. I'll have to give them a few test-runs before I move in so that I can fix any flaws in the endeavor. I hope that they're helpful to all of you as well!

Avoid Overeating at the Table 

1. Opt for a small plate.
2. Drink water before the meal.
3. Eat slowly.
4. Do not push your food around your plate for hours. Set your utensils down periodically instead. It often settles the anxiety to take a break.
5. When serving yourself, choose small amounts of food. If you must, splurge on the veg.
6. Chew your food adequately.
7. Skip the condiments. 
8. Talk until you can hear yourself being annoying, and take charge of the conversations. Dazzle those table friends with your charisma! You forgot to eat? Well, it's cold now... better save it.

Weight: 114  113  112  111  110  109  108  107  106  105  104  103  102  101  100  99  98  97  96  95

Height: 5'4"